


Of Visions

by IzzyR0ckz



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Brief Jedi Hux, Brief implied Mpreg, Character Growth, M/M, Spoilers, kylo ren fails so hard the universe gives up, redemption arc prequel, universe hopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 06:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5656330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzzyR0ckz/pseuds/IzzyR0ckz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The force does not often meddle in the affairs of its children, each one is their own masterpiece and as such they must find their way by themselves. There are moments when everyone fumbles, falls or trips, and they must learn to pick themselves back up again; such is life. And if the force does interfere, it only does so once, merely a guiding push, then allows them once again to choose. But this time, as it looks down on the mess this universe has become, and the child at its center, among the swirling vortex of chaos, feeling the pain and brokenness, the hopelessness, the loss and the suffering, this time, it will make an exception.<br/>It is time Kylo-Ren learned how it was supposed to go.</p><p>Or, the one in which Hux and Ren were destined to be soulmates and live happily in the middle of nowhere and only they could mess it up so bad there would need to be an intervention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Visions

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [All The Worlds and Universes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5615308) by [giidas (KatushkaK)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatushkaK/pseuds/giidas). 



 

The first time it happens Ben is but a child and has no knowledge of the Kylo-Ren he will become. He travels to a universe where he is grown and has two padawans of his own, a boy and a girl both quite young, each related to him in some way (He had asked them both, floundering for words, “First cousin once removed!” The girl had said proudly, and the boy had just smiled and said: “Only you would forget, daddy,”). He goes with the flow in the way only children can, adapting quickly and nearly without pause, and enjoys himself immensely. They spend the day goofing off after it occurs to Ben he really was in no position to teach the children anything, then eventually settle down for the night and when Ben opens his eyes again he is back among his peers, the dawn just beginning to rise over the mountain peak.

 

“You had a vision,” Luke explains when Ben asks, eyes twinkling, “They are extremely rare, and those who do get them usually only have them once. The force sends them to us during a time of vital importance, to remind us how the world should be, to help guide our choice.”

 

“I’m in a time of vital importance?” Ben asks in confusion, scrunching up his nose, and Luke laughs.

 

“It would appear so, Ben. Choose wisely. The force has a will of its own, it will show what it desires you to do.” Luke ruffles his hair as he stands, then walks off to go instruct the other padawans, leaving Ben to his thoughts.

 

He does not think of the dream, however, a month later when he slaughters all of his peers for the promise of power, does not think of it when he begins his training with Snoke, when he is first appointed the leader of the Knights of Ren. He does not think of it when he changes his name, or when he kills his first stormtrooper for no reason other than annoyance. For quite some time he forgets the dream, and the thought of what could have been had he not is, indeed, a curious one.

 

*

 

The next time Ren has a vision he is thrown off guard, as unexpected as it is unwelcome. He awakes in the Resistance base, naught more than a teenager again ( _the horror_ ), and nearly runs out in only his underwear before he remembers himself.

 

He walks out planning on blueprinting the base to the best of his ability, in hopes of allowing their spies easier entrance, but pauses when he hears a commotion down the hall.

 

“Ben! There you are! Come quickly, there’s a boy outside!” He flinches at the name and the hand placed on his arm, reaching for his lightsaber to cut the head off the person who dares touch him, but finds its usual place on his belt empty; not only had he dressed without taking it with him, he does not recall even seeing a lightsaber in his room to begin with. “While we’re still young, Ben!” The tone is harsh and unmistakably his mother’s, and the tug only manages to move him because he has gone lax from shock. 

 

He is pulled outside and onto the runway, where a small ship has landed and a boy about his height is talking to someone who he assumes to be one of their higher-ups. While the boy appears to be keeping his composure, back straight and meeting the general’s eyes, once they get close enough Kylo can see he is shaking like a leaf and there is fear rolling off him in waves. As soon as they are close his mother releases his arm and shoos the man talking to the boy away, (“You’re scaring the poor dear!”) before beginning her own conversation.

 

“Hello dear, my name is Leia, what’s yours?” She coos gently, and the boy flinches away from the hand trying to be placed on his shoulder so Leia quickly retracts it.

 

“M-my name is Armitage ma’am,” He says finally, stuttering slightly, “Armitage Hux.” And then their eyes meet and Kylo is frozen because he has no idea what to make of such a strange vision. Hux isn’t a traitor, is he? He certainly doesn’t seem like one; and if Hux is the traitor in this situation what in the world does that make _him_?

 

“What a lovely name, dear,” His mother says, even as a murmur breaks out from the people around them; so the name Hux must be infamous in this place too. Leia then glances back at Kylo when she realizes their eyes are still fixed on each other. “This is my son Ben.” He gets the feeling that's his cue to say something but he isn’t entirely sure he knows how to move his tongue and so he remains silent. His mother gives him an annoyed look but refocuses her attention back on the boy when it’s clear her son isn’t speaking, who fixes his attention back on her in return.

 

“And what, may I ask, brings you to us, Armitage?” She asks quietly, and suddenly there are tears in his eyes and he is hugging Leia for dear life. Some of the armed people around her tense and the click of blasters switched off safety mode can be heard, but Leia quickly waves them off, hugging the boy back.

 

“They killed my father, he only made a mistake and they killed him, they shot him in the head and he was asking for mercy but they did it anyway and _he only made a mistake_!” He begins babbling, sobbing all the while, and the people around them exchange knowing looks as if they are aware of the mistake the boy is talking about, “I don’t want to be there, I don’t want to fight with them, I don’t want to hurt people for no reason, I-” Leia shushes him, hugging him tighter.

 

“There there dear, it’s alright, you’re alright.” She hums, petting his head, until his tremors began to cease. “You’ll be okay dear, we’ll protect you.” She whispers, then gives Kylo a pointed look and he finds his limbs and mouth moving without his permission.

 

“You’ll be safe here.” And he doesn’t want to comfort the boy, he’s Hux and last time Kylo checked he was pretty sure he hated him and the feeling was mutual, but Kylo’s hand is moving to rub his back and his mother is giving him an grateful look and Hux’s head turns and they’re looking at each other again and he’d never quite noticed those eyes were so _blue_ , and Hux-Armitage?- gives him a small tentative smile through tears and Kylo returns it and _oh god what is **happening**_ \- 

 

“Come, dear, let’s get you a room and check for any injuries.” And with that Leia whisks Hux off and Kylo is left alone with his thoughts.

 

He locks himself in his room until sunset and falls asleep quickly; when he awakens back on the _Finalizer_ and his helmet and lightsaber are sitting next to his bed, he deems it all a bad dream.

 

(“I didn’t know your name was Armitage.” Kylo tries casually that morning on the bridge, wondering, realizing too late there is a cup of herbal tea in Hux’s hand, and Hux chokes so hard Phasma has to come up from her place at a monitor and slap his back; he is forced to admit whatever the dream was, it cannot be dismissed so easily.)

 

*

 

“How curious,” Is Snoke’s reply when Ren tells him of his dream and Ren tenses in fear of what might come next. “You dream of another time, another place. Another universe the force wishes to show you for reasons only it knows. Another you, so to speak, one who exists elsewhere.” Snoke explains, and Kylo lets out a small _oh_ of surprise.

 

“So they are me; just, in a place where my actions differ?” He clarifies, looking up at Snoke’s hologram questioningly.

 

“In a sense. Do not allow them to distract you.” And that is an implicit threat, clear and without leniency. Kylo nods, and puts his helmet back on, the hologram fading.

 

*

 

In his next vision, he has finished his training with Luke and gone home to his parent’s welcome.

 

“We’re so proud of you!” His mother gushes, tears in her eyes, and he gets a bone-crushing hug from Chewbacca before he can respond.

 

“That’s my boy! I told you he was something special Leia, didn’t I tell you?” He father laughs, ruffling his hair despite the fact Kylo has officially grown larger than him. They take him out to Maz’s bar to celebrate; she grins brightly at them.

 

“What can I get the happy family?” She asks, then laughs when he doesn’t respond, “This is your special day boy, don’t be shy! EVERYONE, I’D LIKE TO INTRODUCE OUR NEWEST-” she is cut off by Han who slaps a hand over her mouth and gives her a pointed look, and Maz just rolls her eyes, yanking it off with surprising force. “-OUR NEWEST GRADUATE! TOP OF HIS CLASS HE WAS, THAT’S MY GRANDSON! I PRACTICALLY RAISED THIS BOY, I DID! THE DRINKS ARE ON ME TONIGHT, FOLKS!”A cheer breaks out over the bar when she finishes, people toasting to him and he has never been so conflicted in his life; the joy and utter hatred both battling for control over his heart.

“He’s not your grandson, Maz,” Han begins in exasperation, but she just waves him off.

“‘Course he is! Need I remind you who gave him ‘the talk’ when he got that boyfriend of his?” She winks and him and he nearly chokes on his own spit, but then she pauses when she looks into his eyes, all mirth gone. “Han, Leia, dears, would you mind if I have a word with our new graduate?” She asks politely, and Kylo tenses. They both only nod, however, neither saying anything if they notice the strange air. 

 

She tugs him into a more secluded area, sitting him down at a table. “Is there something wrong, dear?” She questions quietly and Kylo does not know what to do. He could probably kill everyone here if he wanted; could choke them all and lie down on the damn floor to fall asleep and let his other-self deal with what he has done, but he finds he can’t, _he can’t_.

 

“I’ve seen those eyes,” Maz murmurs, and Kylo only just notices she has her glasses on, lenses making her eyes look far bigger than they are. “What in this galaxy or beyond could cause such conflict in you, Ben? What are you running from?” The name is the tip of the iceberg, and he abruptly stands, chair clattering away.

 

“You don’t know me.” He hisses, and stalks out the door, ignoring the calls for him to return. He’s not running from anything, he faces all pain dead-on and allows it to make him stronger.

 

_He isn’t running_.

 

 

*

 

He decides the force is testing him, sending him to different places to prove his loyalty to the dark side, and prepares himself for doing just that. He will endure, _he will_ , and he shall come out the victor.

 

Perhaps, then, this pull to the light will cease.

 

*

 

He is only marginally more prepared for the next time it happens, awaking in a cottage with the sunlight pouring through the windows. It is calm, silent save to the chirping of birds outside, and he finds himself more at peace than he has been for longer than he can remember.

 

He looks around the small room, sparsely decorated save for complex carvings on the wooden walls, which he gets up to examine. Some are mere doodles, a deer grazing or a single tree, but others seem more detailed, almost as if telling a story. One shows a small girl smiling up at two adults, parents, Kylo guesses. Another is of a man wielding a lightsaber against a large beast, looming overhead, an ugly scar down its face. More litter the room, each making him pause for a moment before he gets to one on the far wall, a masked figure, hand out in a commanding gesture; around the drawing chaos is swirling.

 

“Have another vision?” He turns quickly to see Hux leaning in the doorway, shirtless and sweaty, with a _lightsaber_ in his hand; Kylo just stares, speechless once more. “What?” Hux asks curiously, before an actual sly smile breaks across his features, “Like what you see?” Kylo’s face heats up and he glares, making Hux laugh, and he walks over, placing the lightsaber on a table by the bed.

 

“I was just out practicing, you weren’t waking up so I thought I’d let you rest.” Hux says in way of explanation, which really doesn’t explain anything at all, and to keep his mind from short circuiting Kylo just looks back to the picture. He traces the lines in the wood, fascinated, and hears Hux sigh. “Another vision about him?” He asks as if he knows, and Kylo wonders what he can learn if he plays along.

 

“Maybe,” He replies vaguely, not looking back at Hux, and he doesn’t even hear Hux approach before there’s a hand on his shoulder.

 

“It was just a vision, that’s not you, not this you.” Hux assures, and he has the small realization that it _is_ him, but not the one this Hux knows.

 

“You don’t know that.” He murmurs, and tenses when he feels lips brush across the back of his neck.

 

“Yes, I do.” Hux says adamantly, and Kylo finds himself annoyed.

 

“You don’t know who I am.” He snaps, whirling around, but freezes when he sees the determination in Hux’s blue, blue, eyes.

 

“You are Ben, a Seer who refuses to fight because you don’t believe in it, leaving me to protect you from all those who would kill to hear your prophesies.” Hux insists, and it occurs to Kylo that perhaps they’ve had this conversation before, and he wonders. “You also happen to be the most important person in my life, so I would appreciate it if you did not allow such distant versions of you to put holes through your heart.” Kylo is being hugged and the words are spoken close to his ear, and he has been taught such sentiments are weaknesses, to be extinguished immediately, but the comfort is addicting, this sense of peace and love; he allows it to last.

 

“We hate each other there.” He finds himself saying, unsure why.

 

“We do not in this world, and that is all that matters.” Hux replies and pulls back to kiss Kylo on the lips. It is an innocent brush, for comfort, but it sends electricity up and down his spine, and he enjoys it more than he probably should.

 

“I’m the one who’s strong with the force there, too.” Kylo’s head is light and there is a dumb grin on his face, and he does not quite care he is getting swept up in all this.

 

“Wouldn’t that be something.” Hux snorts, playful, but Kylo does not miss the way he begins pulling them both back from the carving and towards the door. “What say you watch me practice and forget such things for a while?” And Kylo blinks in surprise at the beauty past their small home, far grass plains brimmed with flowers and large mountains in the distance. When he turns back to the cottage it looks quaint and small in comparison to whatever world they appear to be on; they certainly don’t rule the galaxy from here.

 

He sits on a stump to watch, looking up at the bright blue sky, and wonders why that doesn’t seem to bother him.

 

*

 

The fourth dream he is more prepared for until he isn’t. He awakes in the softest bed he’s ever lain in, and his outfit, while identical to the one he usually wears, is modified to be better, more durable and flexible. The mask is also better, the latch more complicated but it’s comfortable to wear and he is instantly suspicious when he sees not one but two lightsabers on his bedside.

 

He stalks out and quickly notices the hallways are unfamiliar, and that they are not on a ship but a planet, with dead greenery as far as can be seen through the windows. He wanders, drinking in the details of the complex architecture and expensive decorations, and notices no one will even look at him. The stormtroopers on the _Finalizer_ would at least nod or sometimes even salute, but here everyone looks away and scurries past.

 

He does not know how long has been wandering when a page comes for him, out of breath.

 

“King Snoke requests your presence.” She says while shaking slightly, and he considers her for a moment, surprised despite himself at the title; this vision is certainly different than the last three. Her fear appears to grow with his silence, so he only nods.

 

“Take me to him, then.” He responds finally, watching her visibly relax, and she doesn’t even question the no doubt odd request; he is not going to spend the day walking through corridors hopelessly lost, however. A relatively short walk later and they arrive at two grand doors, and the page pushes them open for him before scuttling off.

 

“Master,” He says, bowing, forcing himself not to stare at the details of what appears to be the throne room.

 

“Rise, Ren; come join me.” Only then does he look up, rising to stand beside Snoke. He silently fears Snoke discovering him to be an imposter, but if he notices he does not say anything, and not soon after people begin coming in one by one, each with an offering and a request. One man asks for larger rations for his family, his wife has fallen ill, another asks for a new farm animal since their old one had died and they cannot afford to buy one; Snoke’s grants and refusals seem arbitrary. 

They spend the day like this, and Kylo finds it not nearly as fulfilling as he’d hoped, an odd empty sort of power that sends a rush through his system while simultaneously finding something missing. All the subjects seem to cower, afraid and in complete submission; he doesn’t understand, what is lacking? Is it that he is not on the throne? Would it be better if it were him and him alone? He surely has influence over Snoke, in a few select cases his opinion is asked and followed when he gives it, so why is he dissatisfied? What is this pain?

 

_Why does he feel so empty_?

 

*

He has a vision of his padawans again, almost identical to the one he had as a child, but this time they are older. The boy seems bold and brash, his connection with the force a swirling mass of emotions, emotions which he seems to hide behind a visor. The girl is calmer, more constant, silent save for when speaking is needed, and together they balance each other out perfectly. It is a struggle for him to decide what to do in this universe, he could kill them, probably, they seem to trust him, but that same part of him which stopped him in the vision of Maz stops him once more and he finds he can’t; so he teaches them.

 

The boy, Rex, he later learns, is skilled with his lightsaber, able to perform complex maneuvers with ease, but he struggles more with controlling the force, the chaos of his heart making his connection with it difficult. The girl, Regina, is, unsurprisingly, nearly the opposite, the quiet inner peace allowing her to connect with the force easily, moving large objects and using mind tricks on the small animals of this strange planet without much effort; her combat with her lightsaber is lacking, however, and rarely wins her sparring sessions with Rex. He finds himself giving tips, correcting her form or helping Rex calm his emotions long enough to focus, and he is at peace in a similar way to his vision of the cottage. That small space where they had only the grass and flowers in front of them; he wonders briefly where Hux is in this timeline; if they know each other, if he is happy. He finds himself wanting to ask about this world, who the girl’s parents are and which is his cousin, who Rex’s other parent is. He wants to ask, but he doesn’t, mostly because he is afraid of the answer.

 

*

 

Ren does not understand these visions anymore, what they’re supposed to mean, what the force is trying to do to him, he fears them and avoids sleep as much as possible until he collapses one day on the bridge and is brought to his quarters where he sleeps for 3 days straight.

 

It is also odd, seeing Hux in this world, where they are rivals at best, enemies at worst, and knowing Hux in ways he probably never will here, not in this time, this place.

 

*

 

Kylo lies in the snow after his battle with that girl, so strong despite never having used a lightsaber before in her life. He’s going to die here, in the snow, alone and forgotten; this he knows. The pain of the realization hits him, and he finds himself remembering; regretting. He remembers the peace of the cottage in the grass plains, remembers the affection and trust his padawans had shown towards him, he remembers the stabbing emptiness of ruling the galaxy at Snoke’s side, and regrets what could have been as well as what seems to be. The pain of this pull, the light and dark swirling violently within him, the lack of satisfaction at watching his father plunge into the darkness by his hand; why had he done it? His memory is becoming blurry, and he doesn’t recall his motivation, why he gave up such a chance of peace for this agony, this death. He doesn’t understand, it doesn’t make sense; _why_? The last thing he sees before he closes his eyes is Hux’s panicked face, and he wonders if this, too, is another world.

 

*

 

The vision he has that sleep, while his wounds are tended and the world seemed to hold its breath, is one he could never quite prepare himself for.

 

He awakes to wailing, then cursing by his side, and he tenses. The person beside him slips out of the bed and there are quiet thuds across the floor before the crying becomes softer. It does not go away, however, and eventually footsteps come back into the room.

 

“He wants you.” The voice says simply, a voice he knows all too well, and he turns to see Hux holding a baby, exhaustion clear on his face. Kylo just lays there, resigned to existing temporarily in this other world, another place where the impossible happens. “He won’t sleep unless he senses your presence, you know that. One of the downsides to having a child with a connection to the force as strong as your own.” Hux probably means to sound exasperated but it only comes out tired, and Kylo takes pity on him for reasons he’d rather not analyze by taking the child from his arms.

 

The baby has Ren’s hair and pale features, but when he opens his eyes, immediately quieted in Ren’s arms, they are the _blue_ he’d seen in visions before. He does not quite question it, he’d known Hux was not entirely human from his files; his mother was from a planet and race Kylo had never heard of before. And he can feel it, the strength this child holds with the force, the way it flows so naturally through him; he will do great things one day, of this Kylo is sure. The baby reaches up towards his face, making grabby hands and gurgling, and that same feeling of contentment arises within him. He seems to forget himself in these visions, forget who he is and what he wants and just exists; indulging himself in this peace which he cannot have. He hears a sigh from behind him, breaking him out of his thoughts, and sees Hux climbing back under the covers.

 

“Put him back to sleep once you’ve finished calming him down, and it’s your turn to suffer next time he wakes up.” Hux grunts and Kylo snorts because that sounds more like the Hux he knows. He looks back down at the child feels something roll down his cheek without his permission; it drips from his face and he watches the baby catch it in a chubby hand, still staring at him. He does not respond and thankfully Hux doesn’t seem to wait for him to, softly snoring not minutes later. He finds he wants this peace, wants this calm serenity; there is no battle of light and dark inside him, no vicious tug one way and then the other. He looks up to see a lightsaber- _his lightsaber_ \- mounted on the wall, clearly having gone unused for many months (years?), and wonders what the story is in the universe, what brought them to this moment.

 

He gets up and searches for the child’s bedroom (is his name Rex in this place too?), finding it fairly quickly. He lays the boy down with a tenderness he did not know he still possessed, tucking him in and stroking his head.

 

“You will be great,” he finds himself saying, “The best master of the force there will have ever been,” He pauses then, struggling with himself, “I’m sorry I cannot be there to see it.” And then sits in silence, long past when the baby has fallen asleep, not wanting to leave just yet.

 

When he does go back to the bed he feels almost as if he is abandoning the child, but whoever he is in this life deserves their place back here once more. Hux huddles into his side after he has lain down, seeking warmth, and Kylo indulges Hux as much as himself when he wraps his arms around him.

 

(The sound of monitors beeping when he wakes up is particularly annoying, but he sound of Hux’s telling him off for such recklessness is a relief, and he almost tricks himself into believing it is because Hux cares.)

 

*

 

“What do you want?” He asks aloud that night, helpless; they are to go see Snoke to complete his training in the morning. His parents, the cabin, the padawans, _the baby_ ; each vision swirls around in his mind, violently wreaking havoc. “I do not understand, why do you torture me with such things?” He sits with his head in his hands, agonized. There is no response, the force as silent as it has always been, and frustration rolls within him. "You force me to endure such things and cannot even tell me why?" There is still no response and his rage boils over; he roars, standing, lightsaber in hand, slashing large lines through the closest wall.

 

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” He is screaming, and sparks are flaring, and it feels good to destroy, good to turn his anger to violence, and this is what he wants, not the visions he has been having of other times and places, this euphoric feeling of control and destruction. But then there is nothing more to destroy, the anger fading as quickly as it has come, and he collapses back down, panting, his lightsaber falling from his hand. Suddenly there are tears and now he desires those arms around him, a voice reassuring in his ear that all is well, that everything will be okay. Grief and rage swirl together, and he finds he does not know what he wants, peace or chaos, safety or power. He is temporarily saved from his agony when a sudden wave of exhaustion overcomes him, and he is sleeping again.

 

*

 

His last vision is one in which he awakes in the crashed remains of a ship, and for a moment thinks the ship has recently gone down before noticing the decorations around it and the carved-out door; does he live here?

 

He walks outside to find he is near a village and is unsure what to do, whether or not they are hostile. He doesn’t know what will happen to him if he dies in a vision; if he would return to his own existence or not. The planet is mostly rocky, some trees spread out and lead to what appears to be a lake farther back; he is in the middle of deciding what to do when a small child comes and tugs on his arm. The child is not a race he is familiar with, long horns coming from its head and only one eye.

 

“Follow!” The child insists, pulling, and Kylo allows himself to be led into a small hut, where he is not quite surprised to find a version of Hux waiting. He realizes Hux is not in his usual attire, but something similar to what the child is wearing, and wonders how long they have been marooned here; were they even marooned? Was that ship theirs? The child lets go of his arm and races over to Hux, grinning, and Hux smiles indulgently while patting his head.

 

“Have you need for me?” Kylo questions finally, watching. Hux looks up at him and gives a tired smile, motioning to a makeshift radio behind him.

 

“The First Order has found us and is sending a rescue ship, they should be here sometime today,” Hux explains, confirming Kylo’s earlier theory.

 

“You’re leaving?” The child asks, frowning, and Kylo watches a wash of emotions come and go across Hux’s face before he responds.

 

“They are coming to take us back to where we came from.” And Kylo does not miss that he has evaded the question.

 

“Are we going back?” He has to know, he feels this vision is the most important because for the first time the story is clear and oh-so-similar to their own. Hux hesitates again, before putting a hand on the child’s shoulder.

 

“Can you leave us, Ferruus?” He smiles gently, and the child seems unsure but nods, leaving the hut. There is silence and eventually Kylo raises an eyebrow questioningly.

 

“I grew up with stories about how terrible the Republic was,” Hux begins finally, “my father told me they were horrible two-faced liars and the only way for an ideal world to be created was for them and all their colonies to be destroyed.” He goes silent and it clicks in Kylo’s mind, Hux’s motives and loyalty, why he stays, “Now I…I am not so sure. These people, they are not… they do not deserve…” He seems at a loss and the difference between them is clear: Hux leads with the belief they are doing the right thing, that they have been destroying corruption with each death they cause. He does not seem so sure now, however, now that he has lived among them for however long it has been, now that he knows them, he no longer is sure which way is right. It almost makes Kylo laugh because he, he knows what they do is cruel and unjust, he simply doesn’t care; all he wants is power and if this is how he obtains it then so be it. At least, that had been all he had wanted, now he remembers the peace of holding such a small child in his arms and questions.

 

“Kylo… what do we do?” Hux looks at him pleadingly, begging for the answer, and Kylo snorts.

 

“You think I would not have told you if I knew?” He returns, and Hux blinks before glaring.

 

“Well, we need to do something! They’ll most likely kill the villagers after they come, then take us back!” Hux is frustrated, and it is almost sad.

 

“Then don’t go back. I’m sure there’s a ship somewhere on this blasted planet, find it and leave!” Kylo says viciously, and Hux actually looks frightened for a moment.

 

“You’re… not coming?” He sounds worried, and Kylo wonders at the relationship they have in this world. He opens his mouth to say no, he will go back and get stronger, go back to the way it was, but the words get caught in his mouth; _what do you want from me?_ He swallows. Is this what the force wants? It wants him to run? He is no coward, and he will not grow stronger if he flees his master in such a time of importance, but nor will he find such peace if he stays.

 

“I will join you.” He says finally, and maybe that is not what this version of himself wanted, but Hux’s face breaks out into a relieved smile and he finds that he will just have to live with it.

 

*

 

When he awakes they are on a ship headed towards Snoke. There is no crew, just him a pilot and Hux (He assumes it is because Snoke’s location is on a strict need-to-know basis), and Hux pushes him down when he tries to get up.

 

“Your latest temper tantrum caused you some burns from the sparks, _bad_ burns, you absolute child. If you must destroy my ship, at least do so with a shirt on.” His tone is not particularly harsh, however, though there is certainly annoyance over his broken equipment. Kylo offers no apology and Hux only sighs.

 

“We’re approaching Snoke soon, he certainly likes to skulk the outer rim,” Hux says and Kylo wonders if this too is another world for Hux to talk so rudely of the Supreme Leader. “Bringing you in while you are still injured, preposterous; not to mention you go and get yourself more injured right before we must leave, _absolutely_ idiotic.” Hux is grumbling, and Kylo smirks.

 

“If I didn’t know better, General, I’d say you cared.” He grins when Hux’s face heats up and he swats and Kylo, but does not miss the way Hux does not defend himself. They remain in silence for a minute before Kylo sits up, waving off Hux’s attempts to stop him. “Leave me General, I wish to meditate.” He says simply, and Hux seems to struggle with himself before sighing and gets up to go to the cockpit.

 

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Hux calls over his shoulder, and Ren just snorts. He gets in position, grounding himself before he begins to speak, quiet enough to ensure Hux and the pilot cannot hear him. He is not sure whether or not what he is doing will work, but a moment of calm has come over him, perhaps the eye of the storm, and he has made a decision.

 

“Show me,” he says simply, “prove me wrong.” The ship lurches, alarms blaring, and he can hear Hux cursing over all the noise; Kylo gives a small smile. He makes no promises, no guarantees, he will return to Snoke if he so desires, but the visions have shown him something else, a different route, a different choice; and so he will listen.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a vague plot of the sequel which would be a redemption arc for both of them, but we'll see if I have enough time to write it.  
> If you liked it and want to support me, please [buy me a coffee!](https://ko-fi.com/izzywrites) If I can scrape together enough, who knows about that sequel? ;)


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